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Hahahahahahaha someone kill me please I promise I’ll make it look like an accident

incendiaryhero:

theawkwardgayfanboy:

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily:

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily:

2rsquared:

chucktaylorupset:

chucktaylorupset:

Important question: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines and is Hogwarts vaccinated?

Circa Seventh Book

Hermione: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines?

Ron: A wax what?

Hermione: hmmmm

Harry: Hermione, we cant take out the death eaters with a genetically magicked disease

Hermione: No I know that. Of course I know that.

*Uncomfortably long silence*

Harry: What if we gave them all smallpox

Hermione: HARRY NO! We already eradicated it once, let’s not make the world do it again

Harry: Oh yeah, I guess you’re right

Hermione: Now tuberculosis, on the other hand…

Hermione: If Voldemort likes the good ole’ days so much, why don’t we bring them back? Old society, old war tricks

Hermione, putting on a gas mask: New plan. We take them out with consumption and mustard gas

Hermione, to Voldemort: Did you know, historically, a majority of war deaths come from disease?

Harry Potter and the Violation of the Geneva Convention

jorahsmormont:

hedgehog-moss:

If you genuinely enjoy being alone, do you ever wonder if it is an inherent part of your character or if it stems from feeling inescapably lonely in the first place until you taught yourself to enjoy the peace and happiness one can find in solitude? what if the reason you now prefer & choose solitude at every turn is because you were a very lonely child, or teenager, not by your own choice, and that’s how you learnt to thrive and grow, so you no longer know if you can do that around people? There might also be an element of personal pride, an unconscious “you can’t fire me I quit” point when your brain decided to switch your feelings about solitude from distress to relief. I often find myself defending my love of being alone, to people who worry that I can’t possibly be happy to live in an isolated house in the woods; I insist that I do! I really do specifically enjoy the isolated factor and chose to live here because of it, but then I wonder how to differentiate an ingrained love of solitude from an acquired ability to thrive off unchosen loneliness, to learn from it and be nourished by it; to what extent it might be a form of contentment built on a bedrock of resignation.

why would you say something

windurst-s:

bacteriacore:

@busbug

someone: have you seen breaking bad?

me, remembering this video: yeah it was amazing

shookie-cookie:

youngsamberg:

moira rose laughing without moving her face should’ve earned catherine o’hara an emmy two years ago

I’ll never stop being obsessed with this moment

pukicho:

ghoulification:

Cain killing Abel

This is still funnier than any feature length comedy 

horsecrash:

weirdness-is-good:

emergency-broadcast-archive:

No one in this video is a human.

the sims 9

screamingay:

themysteriousmurasamecastle:

losing my shit because my dad was telling me that some country music artist he likes went to the hospital and got high off edibles and made an album that was so far removed from being country music that country music fans of his are having fucking fits about it online but that’s not the strange part, the strange part is that this dude sought out the guy who animated those cool 3d jojo intros from parts 1-3 and that one batman ninja movie (i think his name is junpei mizusaki) and got him to animate a full 40 minute short film set to his new weird album and it looks like fucking

this

i wasn’t expecting to love this so much?? this dude just like created a new genre i am so impressed. the first music video is out now and on god i am vibing with it so hard

scorntrooper:

secifosseluce:

secifosseluce:

secifosseluce:

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster 

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

 moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :) 

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this: 

Miriam: Yosef if you’re headed over to Rachel’s tent please can you tell jeshua to come get a change of clothes?

Yosef: wait. Wasn’t he with you?

Miriam:…no, he said he was going to travel with his friends for a bit

Yosef: um. I haven’t seen him since jerusalem

Miriam: fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!

~3 DAYS later, at the temple~

Miriam: JESHUA H CHRIST SLASH WHATEVER OUR LAST NAME IS WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

Jeshua, who has been hanging out with temple preachers and weird philosophers for the past 3 days, being a smartarse: oh, hey you guys. These are my new friends

Miriam: We. Thought. You. Were. Dead.

Jeshua: no I’m here at my dad’s house just chillin

Yosef: